Sources of Anger

        In Ephesians 4:26, Paul writes that you can be angry without sinning. This particular passage is capable of sending most Christians into a tailspin as many Christians feel guilty and hopeless from perceiving sin in their anger that they can’t stop. What is a Christian to do? It isn’t that they want to sin but they continue to feel defeated when it happens.      

         Doctors Frank Miniurth and Les Carter write in their book, The Anger Management Workbook, that there are three fuels to anger – hurt, fear, and frustration. The first fuel of anger, hurt, is what you experience when someone disregards your feelings. An example would be a family member saying something to you that you perceived as offensive. Because you were offended, your feelings were hurt by it. Perhaps one member of the family was critical of Mom’s cooking. This could hurt Mom’s feelings.

         The second fuel of anger is fear. Fear can fuel anger because people often hide behind anger to protect their fear. A personal example of mine involves my fear of heights. When our children were younger we would take them on vacations, and it didn’t take them long to realize that if they got me as high as possible, I would get angry. In this situation, I protected my fear of heights by getting mad at them. Another personal example involves my fear of rattlesnakes. When we were in the Rockies in Colorado, they teased me about my fear of rattle snakes which would cause me to get angry to protect my fear.

         The third fuel of anger is frustration. Frustration tends to fuel our anger when the same offense continues to repeat itself. Going back to the example of Mom’s feelings being hurt when family members  criticize her cooking, if it continued to happen, over time she would also begin to feel frustrated because it doesn’t stop.

         Matthew 19:8 talks of a possible outcome of hanging onto your anger. Your heart could harden to the point of wanting divorce from your spouse or wanting to leave other relationships that have you so angry you want nothing to do with that person any more. To prevent this, it is important to remember Paul’s words  in Ephesians 4:26 that were discussed earlier. You can be angry but don’t sin in your anger. Remembering that we have been forgiven which should prompt us to extend forgiveness to others will help us let go of our anger.