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I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of despair,
Even though I trust God & Know He does care,
My body is numb & stagnant,
I can’t move even when I want,
It’s even hard to write this, I feel so weak,
I just want to sleep, sleep, sleep,
I have a list of things to do,
Yet I wait until they are past due,
I can’t make myself move,
I just can’t get in the groove,
When I try to make calls on the phone,
There is a force keeping me from each one,
Much like that of a magnet,
When negative & negative have met,
Is it that I have given up,
Or is it sin keeping me in this slump,
Or has my body simply had enough,
This situation is much too rough,
Part of me wants to open the door to my mind,
The other wants to close it, lock it & run & hide,
I hate how my son’s actions make me feel,
When he yells & cusses & tries to control me, it’s unreal,
Yet it takes me back to 13 years ago,
When his father horrendously abused me so,
All I want in my life is tranquil peace,
All I get is turmoil that continues to increase,
My life is like a rollercoaster ride,
Up the steep hill & down the other side,
At a high rate of speed,
With no brakes so I can get freed,
But I continue to drudge along,
Knowing one day God will make me strong !
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